Buzz Bulletin: Casting the GOAT

By: Whitney Carroll McKinnon
Posted: November 28, 2018

Thanksgiving week saw New England abuzz with chatter about Tom Brady’s future, and not in the usual on-the-field way.

The topic of conversation this time: who will play the GOAT if Hollywood ever makes a movie about the rise of Brady and the Patriots dynasty?

Tom Brady’s choice for the role seems too obvious, but at the same time not the right fit.

Though their faces bear striking similarities, Wahlberg is just 5’8″ to Brady’s 6’4″. Even with the best body double, Wahlberg’s selection seems dubious at best.

Along with Marky Mark, Leonardo DiCaprio’s name has also been tossed around as a possible Brady portrayer. However, one awkward detail makes this a somewhat cringy option; Leo was in a five-year relationship with Gisele Bundchen prior to her 2009 marriage to Brady.

No one can seem to agree on who should play the legendary QB, but everyone has an opinion. Should it be:

Josh Duhamel?

Michael C. Hall?

Henry Cavill?

This guy?

(His name is Geoffrey Stults, for the record. Geoffrey is not hard to look at.)

In my mind, there is only one correct choice, and that is:

Armie Hammer

Along with being 6’5″, Armie already has Brady’s slightly offset blue eyes, square jaw, and killer smile. He is easily the best potential movie-Brady, and I am willing to die on this hill.

Never Change, Von Miller

How Denver’s Von Miller managed to keep a straight face during Sunday’s post-game presser is beyond me.

He’s just on to Cincinnati, you guys.

Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can’t Lose

JJ Watt showed up to Sunday’s game against Tennessee in serious style. Check it out.

This is, of course, a reference to everyone’s favorite high school football drama, Friday Night Lights. Watt’s hoodie not only paid homage to the show’s original team (the Dillon Panthers)—it was also emblazoned with #33, the number of FNL Bae Tim Riggins (who will never hold a candle to Matt Saracen, Dillon’s true heartthrob. Don’t @ me.)

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